Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Trinidad Esparza

more caring
than i could ever be

more man
than i ever will be

he taught me
chess

he encouraged me
to write

he loved
he cared

he sent mcdonalds
coupons every christmas
and birthday

he took me to disneyland






and i forgot him






and i was a ghost.



and

he loved
and he cared

and he was slumped
in his cubicle
when
they found him

and he was so pale
laying dead
in the emergency room

and i was in shock

and when i put my hand on his
shoulder
before they rolled
him away

i felt like a ghost

and i don't know
how to deal with this


and he was my uncle

and christ
it hurts

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

i am going to ask what this is about.

what is this about?

Grae said...

My uncle died unexpectedly the other day. I have regrets that I grew away from him in my adult years. I wish I could have spent more time with him. I wrote this after seeing him in the er and after a bottle of wine. I was a mess for a night. But I'm much better now. I'm collected. This poem and my wine was me dealing with it.

Jake said...

Cousin B, This is Jake. I feel your pain, as we all miss him. He was the best uncle in the world, and that is an extreme understatement. He was going to take Ireland for her Disneyland trip in June. I too, received my annual Mickey D's card every year and quarterly magazine from his work. I have seen a lot of death in my line of work, and it can be hard, but I this is the first time it has actually affected me. I am just glad my dad and your mom got to see him in good spirits one last time before he was gone.

Grae said...

Yea good spirits deffinatly describes him.

Didn't know you blog.
Mind if I follow you?

Olivia Lee said...

Beautiful. Your words radiate emotion. I think sometimes that's all anyone can do to just live.

Grae said...

Thank you