falsity

you had eyes like a homecoming 

that i find myself 

living in the wake of

i never got to know you really 

so my brain filled in the gaps 

untruth sutures 

a fiction mixed with snippets of you 

i know what your favorite color is 

what your friends are like 

how you take your coffee 

but i know 

none of these things 

i don't know you 

and I'm not sure 

that i know myself

it was made to be deleted

she's not real   

this lady on my phone screen 

at a beach smiling and gesturing to someone just out of frame 

all magenta and azure in the distance 

more a part of the internet 

than an actual person messaging me 'good morning' 

she doesn't know it 

but she doesnt want me 

i'm a listless remainder             

feeling an inability to connect                      

she doesn't know             

that i never planned to meet anyone here 

or that the one profile i'd hope to catch a ghost glimpse of 

simply 

doesn't exist