exclusions: messages from ghosts

i had measured us
in gallons of sea water,
in epsom salt,

in tears.

every sunset
viewed from a rear-view mirror.

how many times
i would leave the house
so my family
would not see me sob.

how i would focus on loathing you
to keep myself from loving you again.

there is not enough of us
to measure anymore.

we are smiley faces
on foggy windows.

shadows in hiroshima.

you bring out the worst in me.
you were a lying whore.

exclusions: palpable

he is like an actor
in his own life
playing a role
that is not natural to him

his face
that rearranges
into things
he does not understand

and his eyes
were brown at one point
they used to be receptive
they used to recognize their surroundings

now they're ash
they're cumulus grey
they're things falling to the earth

globs of mercury
running down his face

poisonous mercury

love
is not enough

exclusions: hair of the soap

heav-en
isn't heav-en anymoar

but a deadhorsee on the vegas stri_p
living a.ft.e.r. a freudian sli_p
for angel eye (s) or wormholes

but it(')s always limb o u no

and arcturus w.ill receive m/e

and ii will bee hahppy forr youe

introversions: you

red rose petals erupt
from my mouth
the color of angst these days

faith makes no sense

sugar
grows as red
as anything

sugar
as beautiful as you

the faith
that you keep

makes me question

myself

introversions: when reality fails

eyes like sparklers
peer up at me
smiling like a movie actress
on the silver screen

and where there used to be maggots inside
there are
stars

she'll let me hold her
listening for my heartbeat

our bodies coalesced
under the weight of the moon

this world in lunar overture

her soft breath
exhales
in the key of E

a piece of the sun
'tween her lips

in somnis veritas

so what

what is left
inert

my simile

my nothing

but maggot
of the cusp
where an arm
used to
extend

and there is phantom

as i swallow
an ocean dredger

as door nails

as wood rot

and finally
as

sleep

because
there is something
wrong

with me.

exocerebral: a reoccurring dream

i saw
the mountain again
in my dream
in some desert that i've never been to

surrounded
by dark clouds
they always look heavy with rain

i've never seen its peak

and it doesn't always look the same
sometimes a spire shape
sometimes broad like baldy
but it always feels the same

i can feel it when I look at it

i don't feel anything in particular
only that i feel it
like somebodies presence

sometimes i'm on the mountain
on some narrow roadway
and snowfall all around me

other times
i'm observing it from a distance

once from some winding
desert roadway
i saw it
and then i noticed that there was something about the cacti and yuccas around me that didn't look right
they looked almost plastic

sometimes there is only
a reference to the mountain
or that i happen to think about it