How Embarrassing...

I replace my sleep with alcohol

And then I drive

An assortment of empty bottles

In my wake

Too many bottles

And too many times doing this

Because I will run out of luck one day

Because the night is never long

Enough

And if I crash my car tonight

And die

The police will recover

Pornography

A machete

A hacksaw

And tennis balls from the trunk of my car

Tennis balls...

I feel like

I should leave

An explanation

Evitagen

Fingers creep

And I am death

And we are all death

And I want to feel every inch of myself hanging

From the rafters

Give me minimal slack

And I will ruin a good evening

I am dreaming of you tonight

I'll kill everything

Until I am

Exoskeletal

I'll kill everything

Until

I am nothing but ash

I wish

I knew what you were thinking

I wish I were a better person

I wish I could be beautiful

Like you

I wish I wish

Nevermind

Noah Ferrer

Death

Was the empty aluminum cans

In an suv

Ruunning the red light

It was the crunching sound of metal

And tires screeching

Death was glass like stars

And a street lamp descending

Fallen

Shattered

Destroyed

A family destroyed

My friend destroyed

And eleven year old Noah Ferrer

Gone from this world

At 12:26am

(K)no(w) Life

There are living organs

Beneath it's skin

There are aspirations and sciences

And well developed lexicons

That it acknowledges and lives by

But it lives it's life in spurts

Between traffic jams

And red lights

And waiting rooms

And jail cells

And court ordered therapy groups

Waiting for its sparse little moments

Tiny windows of time

Where even if by only the flicker of a clock

The animal might show itself

But then

It would be back to

Standing in line

For the espresso it craved all morning

There is no life

Here

Pray the sun explodes

Become the ocean

Kill everything that you are

Kemperesque

when skin turns
a biopsy reveals
sparkling polaris

curious teeth in the shelterbelt

a war drum
is just an instrument

the human animal
licks it's jowls

and a garbage disposal gurgles
with torn esophagus

the womb is a sunburst
in outer layer
a cavity on the inside

a living, breathing wound

all static is just noise
schizophrenic to panoramic
coming in through every pore

laying dead
and half eaten
on the kitchen floor

Nile

She smiles with alexandria to luxor
And in my arms with alexandria to luxor

And the whole world from alexandria
To luxor

And her scent is calming
Her beautiful hair


Hair
As long as the nile

From alexandria to luxor

Coveted girl
Beautiful girl

Mai tai girl
Fiddling with

Sand
Turned to glass
Somewhere in the desert

Vague

i can only see myself through

someone else's eyes.